Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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