You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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