this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize