Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize