but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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