Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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