Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize