Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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