so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
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Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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