i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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