if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize