I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize