so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
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You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize