Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
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yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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