there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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