It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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