she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize