Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
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I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
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I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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