It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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