i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
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So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
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