M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize