Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
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