I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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