i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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