I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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