it hurts more in the daytime
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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