giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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