My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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