Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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