Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high http://tfl.nu/0yq2
  Replies (90) Good night (11884) Bad night (1006) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward http://tfl.nu/vm30
  Replies (23) Good night (4383) Bad night (1022) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  there were more penises there than on chat roulette

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (571): there were more penises there than on chat roulette http://tfl.nu/5x41
  Replies (22) Good night (1080) Bad night (3269) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up. http://tfl.nu/w9vg
  Replies (26) Good night (1090) Bad night (6494)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.

  (352): View more from Florida

  Just realized these events may be related.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (352): I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window. (352): Just realized these events may be related. http://tfl.nu/i6sd
  Replies (21) Good night (6256) Bad night (1845)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed. http://tfl.nu/zn3p
  Replies (22) Good night (5088) Bad night (957) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call" http://tfl.nu/v8oa
  Replies (28) Good night (4767) Bad night (919) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!" http://tfl.nu/ndk1
  Replies (4) Good night (4806) Bad night (612)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (760): coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds. http://tfl.nu/by4p
  Replies (14) Good night (3893) Bad night (1148) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (949): We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom. http://tfl.nu/b4pt
  Replies (24) Good night (6469) Bad night (1872) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in. http://tfl.nu/drz3
  Replies (6) Good night (1410) Bad night (621) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom. http://tfl.nu/7w7n
  Replies (3) Good night (479) Bad night (1253)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (616): Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier http://tfl.nu/md1b
  Replies (2) Good night (1952) Bad night (371) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know. http://tfl.nu/ok32
  Replies (6) Good night (821) Bad night (360) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Beer acquired. Food is cooking

  (1-407): View more from Florida

  Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): Beer acquired. Food is cooking (1-407): Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio http://tfl.nu/4aqs
  Replies (3) Good night (1056) Bad night (182) Order T-Shirt

Randomize