And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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