sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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