girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
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Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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