I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize