Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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