That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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