remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
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You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
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Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize