Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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