I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Randomize