A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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