I seem to have left my pride at pride
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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