I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize