Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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