Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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