"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize