My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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