this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
a search helicopter?!
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize