I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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