well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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