I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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